How To Have A Successful Relationship
Successful relationships lead to personal and business success. So this post will look at how and what to do to find and cultivate successful relationships based on measurable results.
Personal and business relationships
There is a difference between personal and business relationships. Therefore I have business relationships for over 25 years that continue today. Similarly, I have personal relationships that are not as long but still continue to grow and develop.
My Rules for Relationships
- Take responsibility for my actions
- Communication is the key.
- Give more than you get.
- Logical sense
- Measurable results
- Value for value, not quid pro quo?
What I look for?
- Are they logical
- Are they lying
- Are they intelligent
- I decide to move forward or not.
If the person doesn’t seem logical in their communication then I pass right away. For example, I worked with a new video guy and I asked them to do the exact same video as my video guy. So I had the same also and text is given to both people to see the outcome. I gave the same directions to both. Therefore I wanted to match and learn who would give me what I wanted in return.
The new video guy needed more direction and my video guy. So in a few days, I got the results. My video guy’s video was just what I wanted. The new video guy was given more direction from me. Therefore in another 24 hours, he returned with his version. He failed.
The new video guy complained incessantly demanding a retry and blaming me for his results. Therefore he refused to take responsibility and said he had made the changes I requested. I told him he did but that he failed in the overall view of the video. He demanded, not asked, that I tell him each scene I wanted to be changed. So you can see from this example the new video guy was not logical in his request and failed to take responsibility for his failure to give me what I wanted.
To make matters worse, he wanted payment without giving me a result, which is the opposite of how this business works. I told him what he was asking for was being paid for showing u for an interview even though he didn’t get the job.
- Leave your big fat ego at the door before entering.
- Being right all the time makes you a loser.
- Flexibility in almost all things works every time.
- If you want to be interesting, be interested.
- Change is imminent to get what you want.
- What’s love got to do with it?
- Don’t get mad, nothing comes of it.
- Success and measurable results.
- Runaway from bad behavior. Or as Charlie Munger says, “some people have a sign that says danger.”
- Hold onto great relationships, they are rare.
That’s a lot of stuff but I can sum up all relationships with giving more than you get.
Know what you want.
I need to know what I want in any relationship before entering it. However, this is not always possible;e. Therefore I enter sometimes without knowing where it will end up, but I usually have an idea.
For example, in business, I am looking for people that are smarter than me to do certain jobs. Therefore if I could do it myself, I will unless it’s a time issue. So I am looking at my time and my ability. Since I have limited abilities I need help in most things.
Personal relationships are different for me. So personal is not always known to me and I start with a feeling instead of knowing what I want. It may be just to interact. So once the interaction begins, I get the feeling that it makes sense to continue.
- He was not willing to take responsibility
- He is illogical in his request and approach
- He was more interested in being right than satisfying my needs as a customer
Are they lying
I love Mark Twain’s quote which I have been using for years never knowing Twain made this quote. “if you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” Therefore I always look for inconsistencies in what people are saying to me whether personal or business.
In business, I make the deal and then look to see if the person delivers and more importantly on time. So often they make excuses why they didn’t deliver on time. If they have delivered in the past, I use my flexibility to allow them to move forward with me.
So measurable results in all relationships are important to me. I’m not looking for quid pro quo in personal relationships but I do like to see the value for value even though I often give more. Therefore I would rather have more into it than less. Therefore
Communication is the primary key
If there is one primary reason for relationship failure, it’s because of poor or no communication. Therefore the key element, assuming you have the right reasons and person for a relationship business or personal is communication.
The other part is the availability. I can not have any relationship with someone that I am not available for or them for me.
Do the right thing
Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing is one of my favorites. In it is a story as powerful as the title. Above all, to do the right thing, as defined by me, is always foremost in all relationships. For instance, do the right thing isn’t good, especially when it comes to customers who return products 6 months after the warranty. I will always do what I consider to be fair, but almost never agree to unrealistic or outlandish requests.
Most relationships don’t work. Customer relationships because I sell what I advertise, and stand behind my products. Therefore I have over 30,000 customers around the world and thousands of 5-star ratings on several platforms.
Look at relationships objectively, even personal ones and it will make you happy and could very well make you rich too.
Mike Addis, Carlsbad, California, all rights reserved.